You did it — you got your crush’s birth time! Whether you sweetly convinced them to check their birth certificate or they finally called their mom, you now have the astrological goldmine! While I totally understand the urge to immediately plug in their birth details on your favorite astro-site to see how their birth chart overlaps with yours, a kind of astrology called synastry, I’m going to offer one call-for-caution—and then I promise I’ll give you the goods and share my top astro-compatibility signs that you love to see when comparing two paramours’ birth charts.
First, the disclaimer: before you analyze someone else’s chart, you need to understand yours. That means accepting how you communicate, how you express your emotions, your personal love language, how you pursue what you want (or how you don’t), and what your own capacity is for short- or long-term commitment. By knowing what’s important to you, you’ll be better prepared to see what the other person can offer you in a relationship.
Now, the first thing you want to look for is how and where Person A’s chart aligns with Person B’s.
Question 1: What is the elemental balance?
Are you two complementary or contradictory elements? Is Person A’s elemental mix helping balance out a missing element in Person B’s chart? In friendships, we tend to want people who are a lot like us—but in romance, we tend to project and attract what we think we’re missing.
Question 2: What houses are being activated?
Where is the action taking place? If you notice a lot of overlapping planets in the 11th house, did you meet in a friend group? Online? Or is this person in your 9th house? Do they activate a need to travel and explore? Did you meet them abroad or do they excite some kind of spiritual purpose in you?
Question 3: What planets, signs and aspects are present?
If the planets are the main characters and the signs are their costumes, then aspects become the dialogue. So who is talking to who and how? Are your love (Venus) and sex (Mars) planets getting activated? The commitment ones like Jupiter or Saturn? How well do you communicate (Mercury)? Is it mostly easy trines and sextiles? Are there a lot of squares and oppositions which could point to conflict, tension or at least, opposites attracting? Or is it the conjunction which shows a magnetic blending of energies between people?
Now, here’s a quick rundown of some of my favorite synastry aspects:
Sun-Moon connections - Do you see each other? Do you understand where and how that person wants to shine? Do they see an inner or emotional side of you that others don’t get to in a way that makes you feel safe?
Moon-Venus connections - This aspect can show a real capacity for loving and nurturing gestures that are well-received and adored by each other. Very loving, very romantic and very caring energy here.
Venus-Mars connections - How we show our love and how we express our desire is obviously super important — and you want to see the planets of love and sex communicating with each other somehow.
Saturn-Jupiter connections - If you’re looking for long-term commitment with a potential partner, seeing Jupiter and Saturn, the larger and more slowly-moving traditional planets, connecting with personal planets could point to two people wanting to do the work and make a future together.
Planets on the Nodes - When you see someone’s personal planets conjunct the other’s Lunar Node, either the North Node or South Node, you know this union was written in the stars. But that doesn’t mean it will be easy. South Node heavy relationships suggest karmic or past-life partners (and possibly, baggage) while North Node partners can suggest feeling drawn to a person but also rejecting them because it’s too different from what we’re used to.
One final note (yes, I know, it’s another word of caution!): don’t disregard someone just because you don’t see these the aspects I mentioned—and don’t count a potential relationship out too soon based on seeing too many “harsh” aspects and not enough easy ones.
Think about it this way: did you live up to the potential of your birth chart on the day you were first born? People have multitudes and we’re all in various stages of our personal journeys. If you meet someone who hasn’t dealt with their Saturn, and that person’s Saturn connects with your Moon, it could possibly feel very rejecting because you’re activating a critical, criticizing planet. But for a person who has been working through Saturnian karma, that Saturn-Moon connection can feel like a fated long-term commitment.
Be open to getting to know the person who is living their chart. Use the astrology to understand the celestial energy you’re both working with for everyone’s highest and best.
And if you have questions on how to do this, ask me or any astrologer on HeyHero!